Helping Your Child Deal With Your Divorce

Divorce is a challenging, stressful, and confusing event for all the people involved–and that is not talking about the couples alone. Your children are going through twice the pain, stress, and sadness you are witnessing. The worst part is that, unlike you, they do not know how to deal with it.

As you nurse the wounds left by the separation, you also want to nurse your children. This article discusses how you can help your child deal positively with everything going on with your divorce.

Telling Them About the Divorce

Telling your children you are divorcing is not easy for any parent; most parents would freeze up. Before you sit your child down to talk about it, prepare what you will say; this will make it easier for both of you.

Anticipate tough questions, deal with your anxieties, and carefully plan what you will tell them. This way, you will be better equipped to navigate the situation and help your children handle the news.

Be There for Them

Your children are stressed and emotional, most likely feeling like their world has collapsed. They are still too young to understand the emotions being stirred inside them or how to deal with them. You can help reduce your children’s pain significantly by prioritizing their well-being.

Be patient with them, reassure them, and always be ready to listen to whatever they have to say. Also, provide routines they can rely on, minimizing the tension in the home and reminding them you are still there for them. Show your kids that you still have care, structure, and stability for which they can count on you.

Understand What Your Child Wants From You

During this period, you need to read your children’s body language; listen to the words they are not saying. Your child says he wants you to stay involved; call, text, and always ask about his or her life. They want you to stop fighting and try to get along with each other and try to agree on matters about him or her.

Your child does not want to have to choose between the two of you; he or she wants to love you both. Your child wants both of you in their life, supporting them and the time they spend with each of you.

What Should You Say About the Divorce, and How Should You Say It?

When telling them about the divorce, be empathetic in your tone and start with the most important subject. Be open and honest with your child, but be smart about it. Below are tips concerning what and how you should tell your children about the divorce:

Be Honest

Your kids deserve to know what is happening; therefore, be truthful but not confusing. Depending on your child’s age, you may need to start with why parents do not get along sometimes.

Remind Them of Your Love

Let your kids know that your divorce has nothing to do with them and that you both still love them. Telling them that your love for and devotion to them has not changed can be more powerful than you know.

Address Their Concerns

Encourage your kids and those around them to be open about their concerns and ask questions about the changes the divorce will cause. You can do this by acknowledging that there will be some changes but that not everything will change.

Conclusion

“Divorce is a saddening and confusing time for children; sometimes, they even feel responsible and to blame,” says Attorney Paul Riley of The Riley Divorce & Family Law Firm. As their parent, you must sit them down, reassure them of your love, and help them deal with what is happening.